Aloysius, our Executive Director of Sports Information here at Everyone’s Entitled to Joe’s Opinion, usually hibernates when the college football recruiting season starts up. He is a little (make that a lot–Aloysius just glared at me threateningly) weirded out by the whole idea of grown adults obsessing over where some 18-year-old kid is going to spend the next four years of his life, and he prefers to just sleep through the whole thing. If I didn’t have to work for a living, I’d be right there with him. (Not that I’m complaining about having a job. Especially in this economy.) He usually comes out of hibernation when spring practice starts up.
Before he goes into hibernation, Aloysius would like to offer these thoughts on college football and the sporting world at large:
–I’m not sure who I hate more, Lane Kiffin or Jim Mora. Lane Kiffin is an ignorant, loudmouthed doofus who thinks he’s a rock star and the whole college football world owes him a living just because his daddy can coach. Jim Mora wanted the Washington job so bad, he mouthed off about it on talk radio while his Atlanta Falcons were in the middle of a playoff chase. The Cons didn’t make it and he got fired. Served him right. So he went to the Seattle Seahawks and lasted all of about two years there. Now he’s at UCLA. Put it like this: Both of them would taste really good right about now.
–Jerry Sandusky belongs in my tummy. So does anyone up at Penn State who enabled him to do the things he did, or who supports those who enabled him. What’s up with everybody up there speaking out in support of Joe Paterno? Those people have their priorities all out of whack. Just let me loose up there, and I’ll teach some people a lesson.
–LSU is going to beat Alabama next week, and it isn’t going to be close. At least not as close as everyone thinks. For starters, it’s in the Superdome, which is a home game for LSU. Do you think Alabama has a chance there? LSU is a very fast team. Alabama relies very heavily on size and strength. This game is on artificial turf, which favors speed. LSU hasn’t lost on artificial turf since the 2005 SEC championship in the Georgia Dome, when they ran into a very fast Georgia team. I don’t think they’re going to lose this time. And if I’m wrong about this one, well, I’ll be in hibernation by the time the game rolls around so you’ll just have to deal.
–Mark Richt is totally living right. He caught a huge break when the new SEC schedule came out for next year and featured Missouri instead of Alabama. This means he has a team just as good as this year’s, with a schedule just as easy as this year’s, if not easier. Of course I expect the SEC to compensate in 2013 by scheduling Georgia in road games at LSU, Alabama, and the Green Bay Packers.
–Speaking of Georgia, they have issues this year and possibly next. Apart from their special teams, which were atrocious and cost them at least two games this season, they have an even bigger issue: Are they really that good? Not that anyone thinks they aren’t any good; it’s just that–we just don’t know. And that’s why the Michigan State loss hurts so badly: win that one and you remove all doubt. All they had to do was hold on to a 16 point lead or make a field goal in overtime. But they didn’t, and all doubts remain fully intact. And with no Alabama, LSU, or Boise State on the schedule next year, it is entirely possible for Georgia to win the SEC East and us still have no earthly idea how good they really are.
–Georgia Tech has issues too. For them, the issue is talent–or the lack thereof. Chan Gailey couldn’t coach worth a lick, but he sure could recruit. With Paul Johnson they have the opposite problem. He can coach, but he can’t–and doesn’t–recruit. If they’re ever going to get any better, they need to get some better players into their program. But I’m not too much concerned about this; the whole recruiting thing weirds me out. Wake me up when spring practice starts up.
–And what’s this I hear about Harvey Updyke (the suspected Auburn tree poisoner) selling T-shirts on Facebook? Seriously? SERIOUSLY??? This idiot TOTALLY belongs in my tummy. That’s all I’ve got to say.