Music Review: Caedmon’s Call, Share the Well

So you missed the deadline to sign up for your church’s mission trip to India or Ecuador? Couldn’t raise the support or get the time off work? No problem. Just plug Share the Well into your CD player, sit back, and enjoy the next best thing. Continue reading “Music Review: Caedmon’s Call, Share the Well”

Top 10 Ways to P— Off Yankees

10. Call Albany, New York, “All-Binny.”

9. If you go out to eat at a restaurant up North, order sweet tea.

8. If you visit up North and it snows while you’re there, act like you’ve never seen snow before in your life. Run around in the snow, make a snowman, try to start snowball fights with people passing by. This will drive them completely and totally out of their minds.

7. If you visit Lake Winnipesaukee (in New Hampshire), call it “Lake Wannahockalugi.”

6. If you visit Mount Washington (also in New Hampshire), say, “We have 6,000 foot high mountains down South, but ours have trees on top.”

5. If you see a Northerner on the street wearing a UAW jacket, say, “You misspelled “Y’all” on your jacket!”

4. If a Northerner starts telling you all about how they used to do things back in New York, say, “If you don’t like it down here, Delta’s ready when you are! 36 daily flights from Atlanta to New York, if that’s where you want to be.”

3. If you drive on one of the numerous toll roads up North, when you stop to pay the toll, say to the attendant in the toll booth, “Y’all must believe it’s morally wrong to drive without paying to use the roads you drive on.”

2. Drive down Park Avenue in an old beat-up pickup truck with a gun rack and a Rebel flag hanging out the back.

1. In the middle of a conversation, for no apparent reason, just blurt out, “Y’ALL ARE ALL JUST A BUNCH OF DAMN YANKEES!!!!!”

My Reaction to The Brothers Karamazov–Part 8: The Sufferings of a Soul

Yet another Valentine’s Day post…

Dmitri broke off his engagement with his ex-fiancee Katerina because he had fallen in love with Grushenka, a disreputable woman in the community. But Fyodor Karamazov had designs on Grushenka as well, and this provoked Dmitri to hate and threaten murder against him. As it turned out, Grushenka loved neither of them. She loved a Polish officer named Mussyalovitch who had been engaged to her several years ago and broken off the engagement for no apparent reason, and she was expecting him to return and send for her at any time. On the night of Fyodor Karamazov’s murder, Mussyalovitch went to Mokroe, a nearby village about twenty miles away. He sent for Grushenka, and Grushenka went to him. When Dmitri found out about this, he intended to go to Mokroe too, to throw them a lavish party in honor of their future happiness together, and then blow his brains out the next morning.

But a funny thing happened that night. Mussyalovitch and his friend who was with him that night behaved like total jerks. Grushenka lost all regard for Mussyalovitch and fell in love with Dmitri. She went to him at the end of the night and lay beside him, asking him to take her far away. Just then the police burst in and arrested Dmitri for the murder of Fyodor Karamazov. Grushenka saw and heard the whole thing, until she was removed to a separate room. But she never wavered in her devotion to Dmitri. As Dmitri was being taken away, she said, “I have told you I am yours, and I will be yours. I will follow you forever, wherever they may send you. Farewell. You are innocent, though you’ve been your own undoing.” Continue reading “My Reaction to The Brothers Karamazov–Part 8: The Sufferings of a Soul”

My Reaction to The Brothers Karamazov–Part 7: Lacerations

Just in time for Valentine’s Day…

…But there is a grief that breaks out, and from the minute it bursts into tears and finds vent in wailing. This is particularly common with women. But it is no lighter a grief than the silent. Lamentations comfort only by lacerating the heart still more. Such grief does not desire consolation. It feeds on the sense of its hopelessness. Lamentations spring only from the constant craving to re-open the wound.

In Book IV, Chapter 5, Katerina declares that she will continue to love Dmitri no matter what he does, and we learn that her love for Dmitri is based strictly on self-laceration. Continue reading “My Reaction to The Brothers Karamazov–Part 7: Lacerations”

My Reaction to The Brothers Karamazov–Part 6: The Mysterious Visitor

I will now turn my attention to a part of the story which a lot of readers, I am willing to bet, just blow right by. This portion appears at first glance to be completely irrelevant, but I believe that it is anything but irrelevant.

In the middle of the story, Father Zossima is dying. All of the monks who were closest to him during his life at the monastery are gathered around him to hear his final words. Father Zossima gives a full account of his growing-up years, his calling into the monastic life and life as a monk, and final reflections on the role of the monk in Russian society. Continue reading “My Reaction to The Brothers Karamazov–Part 6: The Mysterious Visitor”

Music Review: Coldplay, X&Y

Whenever I hear the name Coldplay, I can’t help thinking of the 1991 movie The Last Boy Scout (Bruce Willis, Damon Wayans), an action thriller about corruption in professional sports. This scene features a high-stakes showdown between two fictitious NFL franchises, the Los Angeles Stallions and the Cleveland Cats, with serious postseason implications for both teams. Of course the game is fixed; Los Angeles Stallions star running back Billy Cole (Billy Blanks) is under orders from his bookie to win this game by any means necessary. The Stallions fall way behind early on, but they come back and make a game of it, largely on the strength of Cole’s running. Still, they trail 17-10 with two minutes left in the game and fifty yards to go for the winning score. So they run a toss sweep to Cole. Cole gets the ball, pulls out a gun, and starts shooting would-be tacklers in a mad dash to the goal line. In the end zone,¬†with the riot police closing in on him, he puts the gun to his own head, says “I’m going to Disneyland!” and blows his brains out.

Now that’s cold play!!!

Sorry, I just had to get that in there. Anyway, about the album… Continue reading “Music Review: Coldplay, X&Y”

My Reaction to The Brothers Karamazov–Part 5: The Grand Inquisitor (cont’d)

No signs from Heaven come today
To add to what the heart doth say.

We all have a choice to make, and it is this: To believe God, or not to believe Him, on the basis of the evidence which He has already provided, through creation, through His word, and through the changed lives of the best of His followers. Continue reading “My Reaction to The Brothers Karamazov–Part 5: The Grand Inquisitor (cont’d)”