Happy “Fall Family Festival”?

Halloween has fallen into heavy disfavor in the world of evangelical Protestant-dom.  Many evangelicals believe that the world of ghosts, ghouls, goblins, witches, etc. that manifests itself on Halloween night is an evil thing that must be avoided at all costs.  But they don’t want their kids to miss out on all the fun, so they have alternative celebrations, usually at their churches.  These celebrations are usually very creatively named, with such colorful names as “Fall Family Festival”, or perhaps the mildly more exciting “Family Extravaganza”.

My take on all of this:  Don’t mess with Halloween. Continue reading “Happy “Fall Family Festival”?”

What Florida-Georgia Means to Me

This is Florida-Georgia week, and I wanted to write one more thing about it.  Not the game, mind you.  There’s probably a cow sitting out in the middle of a field somewhere that thinks Georgia has a chance to beat Florida.  But all sports analysts of the non-bovine variety are agreed that a Florida win is virtually assured at this point.  We do not need to readdress this, so we won’t. Continue reading “What Florida-Georgia Means to Me”

Florida-Georgia Humor

Boy, you people sure come up with some interesting search terms.

WordPress has this neat feature that lets you see the search engine terms that people use to find your blog.  And I see that some of you have come here looking for “Cocktail Party Humor Florida Georgia”.

For starters, the most humorous aspect of Florida-Georgia 2006 is that the game is even being played at all.  Everyone knows that Florida owns Georgia.  Even if Georgia were to start NFL Pro Bowl picks while Florida starts middle school cheerleaders and band members, Florida would still win.

But this year’s Georgia team is way short of NFL Pro Bowl caliber.  Anyone who believes otherwise after the last five games is completely and totally deluded.  And this year’s Florida team is way better than middle school cheerleaders and band members.  If Florida can start middle school cheerleaders and band members and still beat Georgia, then imagine what Florida can do to Georgia with the team that they have this year.  And if Georgia can start NFL Pro Bowl picks and still lose to Florida, then imagine how badly this year’s team will get beat.

And yet, they’re still planning to play the game Saturday.


After that, the next most humorous aspect of Florida-Georgia 2006 is that Florida is only favored by 14 points.  Who are we kidding?  Florida will cover that within the first two minutes of the game.

Wait a minute.  I was wrong when I said earlier that the most humorous aspect of Florida-Georgia 2006 was that it was being played at all.  The most humorous aspect of Florida-Georgia 2006 is that there are still Georgia fans running around out there who believe that we actually have a chance to win this game.

God Bless Donna Shalala; Dogs Eke Out Another One

“…but we will not throw any student under the bus for instant restoration of our image or our reputation.”

–Donna Shalala, University of Miami president

God bless Donna Shalala.

Everybody say it with me.  God bless Donna Shalala.

I had intended to let the Miami-FIU fight pass without comment–after all, that sort of thing happens often enough at college football games that I don’t feel the need to speak out whenever two teams get into it in the middle of the field, but when I found out about these choice words by former politician and now Miami president Donna Shalala, I just couldn’t resist. Continue reading “God Bless Donna Shalala; Dogs Eke Out Another One”

Anatomy of the Collapse of a Football Program

Everybody loves a hero, an image to create
Antithesis of everything inside ourselves we hate
But you’d better close your eyes, before it’s time for them to die
Cause you’d hate to think the life you built upon them was a lie

Oh, to reach through all your surface
Just to find an empty room
And to suffer all your pride
As I lay down by your side
And you swallowed up my heart
And left me a fool, left me a fool

–Indigo Girls

As a Georgia fan, my expectations are pretty reasonable.  Or so I think, at least.  I want to see Georgia rise to the level where we can play any team anywhere in the country on any given day, and at least have a fighting chance.  I wanted to believe that Mark Richt was the coach who would raise Georgia to that competitive level.  And I really did believe it too. Continue reading “Anatomy of the Collapse of a Football Program”

The Bulldog Tooth Bonus Feature: Coaches on the Hot Seat (2006 Edition)

When the season comes to a close, it will once again be time for the annual college football coaching carousel to crank up full bore.  We still have a couple of months of football left, but it isn’t too early to start speculating about who is most likely on the hot seat this year. Continue reading “The Bulldog Tooth Bonus Feature: Coaches on the Hot Seat (2006 Edition)”

Fornicators and Sodomites and Whoremongers, Oh My!!!

Last week I had the opportunity to reacquaint myself with yet another quintessential part of the college experience that I remember all too well from my days at Georgia:  street preachers.

At the University of Georgia there is a small wooden platform big enough for one or possibly two people to stand on, in front of Memorial Hall right at the center of campus.  This is called the Free Speech Platform, and it has a sign on it which says “Free Speech Platform”.

At least once or twice a quarter (yes, I admit it–I am an old geezer.  I went to Georgia way back in the dark ages when they were on the quarter system) some street preacher who went by a name such as Brother Jim or Brother Jed would show up on campus and preach from the Free Speech Platform.  They would denounce passers-by for all manner of sins real and imagined, calling them “fornicators”, “harlots”, “whoremongers”, and many other choice names of a similar nature.  This always drew a crowd.  Heated exchanges between the street preachers and the objects of their denouncement were not at all uncommon.  Many people took great pleasure in heckling these preachers, and many others simply hung around to watch the fireworks. Continue reading “Fornicators and Sodomites and Whoremongers, Oh My!!!”