My heart is heavy today.
My heart is heavy because for the second time in the past month, a black person lies dead at the hands of white law enforcement and/or vigilante justice (which is no justice at all). That’s just the instances we know about because the videos went viral on social media. There are probably countless other black men and/or women who suffered a similar fate during the past month that we don’t know about.
My heart is heavy because protests in my city concerning the death of George Floyd turned violent. I do not condone the violence but I cannot imagine what depth of suffering and injustice could push someone to the place where he/she feels that he/she has no recourse whatsoever but to riot.
A word about riots: Riots don’t just blow up out of thin air. Riots happen because there has been a long weight of systemic injustice bearing down heavily upon a certain people, with no movement whatsoever to resolve the injustice, and certain members of that people feel that they are left with no recourse but to take to the streets and tear shit up.
The CNN Center, the College Football Hall of Fame, Lenox, Phipps, etc. will be fine. Given sufficient time, those places will get cleaned up and back to normal and looking like nothing ever happened.
You can’t say the same for Ahmaud Arbery or George Floyd, or any of the other victims out there that we don’t know about. They’re gone. Their families will not be able to clean this up and get back to normal and make it like it never even happened.
And this has been going on, in some form or fashion, for decades, centuries even. It started with slavery, continued with Jim Crow, and persists to this day via all manner of institutional injustices which continue unchecked and remain unaddressed.
Now do you begin to get a clue as to why someone might feel in this moment as if they have no recourse but to take to the streets and tear shit up?
My heart is heavy because it is my race that is responsible for that. And there has been no movement whatsoever toward rectifying these generations-old injustices.
Oh, and there’s this: For generations, black parents have lectured their children on how to stay safe: Don’t talk back to police. Stay out of bad places. Don’t act out. Avoid confrontations. Be respectful. Things like that.
Ahmaud Arbery and George Floyd followed all the rules. They did everything they were supposed to do to stay out of trouble. And it still wasn’t enough.
What the fuck does a black parent tell her/his children now?
My heart is heavy because I am on the other side of that. I never had to have “The Talk” when I was growing up. That doesn’t happen when you’re white.
That ain’t right, people.
My heart is heavy because there is a FUCK ton of work to be done to make this right. Yet from where I sit there does not seem to be much more that I can do but sit here and write angry blog posts. Well, if that’s all I can do then so be it. I will keep them coming.
To all my black friends out there who might happen upon this: I’m trying. Really I am.
Lament does not come easy to us in America, and especially in American evangelicalism. It goes against our happy-clappy, can-do ethos. Yet at this cultural moment, lament is right.
Don’t know what lament is? Start with the Psalms. There’s a shit ton of lament psalms in there, you won’t have to look too hard to find one. Pick one and just sit with it.
Of course there is still, as noted above, a shit ton of work to be done, and lament is not going to get it done. But it is a start.
Let us take the time to sit in lament. And then let us get busy and do the work.