Twelve Days of Christmas Gifts

nativity3So you thought you were done with Christmas because we are past December 25?

Wrong, my friends.  Those of us who are Christian know better.  You see, Christmas isn’t just a day, it’s a season.  Something so momentous as the birth of Christ is worth celebrating for more than just one day.

The Christmas season starts on Christmas Day, to be sure.  It then continues for twelve days until January 6, the feast of Epiphany.  Epiphany marks when the three wise men, or Magi, arrived from the far east to visit the newborn (actually about two years old by the time they arrived) baby Jesus.  You can read the account of this in Matthew 2.

The song “12 Days of Christmas” kind of gives you the idea about the Christmas season.  There are various explanations/conspiracy theories out there in the blogosphere about the origin of the song and the words/gifts as teaching device/catechesis/secret code for something or other.  But I have nothing to say about any of that, except to say that a lot of these are interesting to say the least.

Instead, I am coming up with my own list of gifts.  Because I don’t have a clue where to go to find a partridge in a pear tree or what it would mean if I did find such a thing.  (I do know how to get ten lords-a-leaping:  Fly them over here on Southwest.  And if that doesn’t have them a-leaping, tell them their tickets are one-way.)

So here we go:

Day 1.  For Arthur Blank:  Some tact.

Okay.  I get that coach Mike Smith had to go.  But the way he handled it was all wrong.  Those of you who are from Atlanta know the story.  Right before the start of the Cons’ last game of the season against the Carolina Panthers–the biggest game of the season, with an NFC South playoff berth on the line–it was leaked to ESPN that Blank had hired an executive search firm to identify a possible replacement for Mike Smith.  Only two places that could have been leaked from:  the executive search firm (not likely; executive search firms are notoriously secretive) or Arthur Blank.  If you don’t know the story, you can read it here.

Day 2.  For Gwyneth Paltrow:  A college diploma.  Seems Gwyneth Paltrow wanted a job at Yahoo! as a contributing food blogger, but they wouldn’t take her because she dropped out of college.

Day 3.  For fans of “normcore”:  An L. L. Bean catalog.

Day 4.  For Mark Driscoll:  Some humility.  Seriously?

Day 5.  For Mark Richt:  Candles, incense, and an exorcist.  These items will be desperately needed for next year’s Florida trip.

Day 6.  For Georgia fans:  A generous supply of Tums.  Chances are they will come in handy at least once next season.

Day 7.  For Bobby Petrino:  The undying gratitude of Georgia fans everywhere for taking Todd Grantham off our hands.

Day 8.  For North Korea:  A working internet connection.

Day 9.  For Amal Alamuddin:  The world’s undying respect, not because of anything she accomplished in her career, but because she managed to tie down George Clooney.

Day 10.  For Jameis Winston:  Some skates.  He may have just skated on sexual assault allegations.

Day 11.  For FSU administrators:  A moral compass.

Day 12.  For my readers (all two or three of you):  Best wishes for a merry Christmas and happy new year.  Thanks to all of you for tracking with me this past year, and I look forward to doing it again for another year.