Build Your Own Evangelical Hell House!!!!!!!!!

That’s right, people.  Ever been through one of those “Hell House” thingys that are all the rage in many parts of evangelicalism this time of year, you know, one of those deals that’s designed to scare the be-Jesus out of you and scare you into accepting Jesus Christ as your Personal Savior?  Ever wanted to build one of those yourself?

Well, now you can.

If you happen to have around $299.00 in spare change laying around the house, you can send away for a do-it-yourself Hell House kit.  New Destiny Christian Center, an evangelical ministry out in Colorado, is the purveyor of this particular product.  The basic kit starts at $299 and includes scenes pertaining to homosexuality, abortion, suicide, drunk driving, Satanism, hell, and heaven.  In a unique upsell opportunity, they also offer add-on modules that you can get to customize your Hell House to specific sins in your particular community.  These include domestic abuse, gay marriage, the rave scene, teen suicide, mother’s womb abortion, drunk driving, hell, and heaven.  The website also indicates that twenty-five additional scenes not listed there are available.

They claim that this particular product has about a 33% rate of people who “get saved” or “rededicate their lives” after going through one of these deals.  They claim to have been featured on virtually any media you can name, including NBC Nightly News, the New York Times, Christianity Today, and the Phil Donahue Show.  (Don’t think I’d claim that one.  But that’s just me.)

Note:  If you are a journalist or reporter or part of the media, then don’t bother ordering a kit through the website.  You’d better call their office and order direct from them.