The Monday Melange 07.18.11: Edwin Edwards, Derek Jeter, Damon Evans

DO NOT ATTEMPT THIS if your 10K time is over 30 minutes.

–We here in Atlanta just had the Peachtree Road Race last week.  60,000 people running down Peachtree Road on the hottest day of the year.  Why?  Because we’re ATLiens and that’s how we roll!!!!!!

Of course the Kenyans won.  They always win this thing.  In the time it takes you to finish the PRR, the Kenyans would have time to finish, run all the way back to the start, and run all the way through the course again, this time stopping to get all the free samples and drink all the free beer that was being passed out.

But what would have made the PRR a lot more interesting is if they had bulls running loose on Peachtree Road during the race.

I’m not kidding here.  They actually do this in Spain.  They have this thing called the Running of the Bulls, where they let some bulls loose in the street and people actually try to run with them.  Has anyone figured out that this is an EXTREMELY BAD IDEA?????????  Of course Ernest Hemingway liked this.  But Hemingway was weird anyway.  He had a habit of drinking too much and writing novels with crazy long sentences that nobody can make sense of.

Think about this, people.  The bulls have a decided advantage here.  Even if the people attempting to keep up with them are Kenyan.  Bulls the world over actually plan their summer vacations around this thing.  (“No Ferdinand, I get the fat guy this year.  You can have the guy who doesn’t have any clothes on.”)

I’m not kidding about that last one.  Somebody actually tried to streak the Running of the Bulls this year.  Now, it’s stupid enough to attempt to run while there are bulls in the street if you do not have a 10K time of less than 30 minutes.  But to take your clothes off while attempting to run with the bulls?  That is taking stupidity to a whole other level.  Any bets on how long that would last?  If this video is any indication, only about 40 seconds.  Of course, the guy holding the video camera yelling “Kill Killer Kill!!!” at about the 20-second mark is a very nice touch.

–How would you like to be Facebook friends with a crooked Louisiana politician?  Well, now’s your chance.  Former Louisiana governor Edwin Edwards is now on Facebook.  And you too can be his friend.  PSYCHE!!!!!!  No you can’t; he has too many friends.

If you look at his profile, you will notice that he says very little about being governor of Louisiana.  Can’t say I blame him.  If I were a four-term governor of a third world country who served jail time for racketeering and corruption while in office, I’d probably want to keep that on the DL too.

What does that say about Louisiana that a former governor who served jail time for racketeering and corruption has so many friends on Facebook that they won’t let him have any more?

–Congrats go out from all the staff here at Everyone’s Entitled to Joe’s Opinion to Derek Jeter, who last week just hit his 3,000th home run.  Amazing.  Not even Mark McGuire, Sammy Sosa, or Barry Bonds could touch that, and Jeter did it without even touching steroids (at least that we know of).  WHOOPS!!!!!  Turns out he actually got his 3,000th hit, which just happened to be for a home run.

Here’s a link to the video of the CNN newscast, in which you can actually see them flash the graphic announcing Jeter’s 3000th homer, then take it down a split second before the newscaster correctly announces that Jeter has gotten 3,000 hits.

–Former UGA athletic director Damon Evans will soon be back in college athletics again.  According to a report in the Savannah Morning News, he has been hired as a consultant to the athletic department at Savannah State after they suddenly fired athletic director Marilyn Suggs.  Evans is currently working with the Markley Group, a Boston-area marketing firm.