The Monday Melange 05.10.10: Kobe Bryant, Zach Mettenberger, Ben Roethlisberger, Justin Bieber

–“Steve” is working out splendidly as our new Executive Director of Travel and Transportation here at Everyone’s Entitled to Joe’s Opinion.  He has truly risen to the challenge.  I don’t know where I would be without him (and when I’m with him, sometimes I don’t know where I am).  “Steve” and I have taken numerous trips to the Oyster Shack, and there he has regaled me with many captivating and compelling stories (Who knows–someday, some of them just might wind up here on this blog).  After spending a substantial amount of time with him, I am thoroughly convinced that he knows his rights.  I have, however, had to remind him–quite vociferously, on more than a couple of occasions–that drinking whiskey while riding a lawnmower down the street does NOT play very well here in the ATL.

For those of you who have not yet had the opportunity to meet “Steve” or make his acquaintance, here is a video of one of his finest moments:

Kobe Bryant has committed an egregious violation of the man rules.  His man card is now expired and subject to immediate confiscation forthwith.

–Some of you may recognize the name Zach Mettenberger.  He was part of a quarterback controversy at Georgia for about twelve seconds before being kicked off the team.  Why was he kicked off the team?  Because he went down to this place called Remerton, Georgia, and found a way to get in trouble.  (I didn’t even know there was such a place as Remerton, Georgia, let alone that it was even possible to do anything there that would get you in trouble.  I need to find this Zach Mettenberger guy and see if I can hang with him and have him show me some things.)  At any rate, Mettenberger has pleaded guilty to counts of inappropriate sexual battery for his actions down in Remerton, Georgia.  In addition to the usual probation, community service, $2,000 fine, Mettenberger’s sentence contained a most unusual feature:  He is banished from Valdosta, Georgia, for one year.  Guess that means he won’t be able to take I-75 south if he wants to go to Disney World this summer.

–After reading this piece on Ben Roethlisberger, doesn’t he seem like that much more of a slimeball?

–What do you know, two football players with “berger” in their last names both got into trouble here in Georgia this month.

Something tells me that “Steve” and I will not be making very many trips to the Oyster Shack in the foreseeable future.

–Justin Bieber had a little trouble with the word “German” in an interview this week.  Here is the video:

“Steve’s” response to this was “God dang!!!  I know where Germany is!!!”

–The high today in Amundsen-Scott Station, Antarctica:  -20.  The low:  -67.  Windchill:  -79.

–Perhaps if Robert Scott had tried to race Amundsen to the Oyster Shack instead of the South Pole, it might have worked out better for him.