Well folks, it’s that time of year again, the time of year when all of the college football pollsters, pundits, and prognosicators crank up their speculations on who will be the best in the upcoming college football season.  And you know what that means–time for me to break out the trusty old bulldog tooth and again demonstrate my divine anointing by correctly predicting Georgia football scores for the upcoming season.

Now last year I had Georgia going 7-4, and what do you know?  They went 9-2 and won the SEC Championship.  But hey, being a modern-day prophet means never having to say you’re wrong.

So here goes…

Georgia has sustained some pretty heavy losses from last year’s team, not the least of which is D. J. Shockley, who is now a Con.  The quarterback situation is very dicey, with four quarterbacks in the mix and Joe Tereshinski in the lead by a whisker.  Joe Tereshinski is the only one with starting experience, and that was a loss to Florida in which he was for the most part pretty unimpressive.  But you can’t blame him too much for that.  Joe Namath could have started against Florida and he would have still come away with the loss.

Then you have Blake Barnes, who sat out almost all of spring training with an injury.  I have seen him playing at the end of runaway games, and I am not too impressed with what I have seen.  Then there is Joe Cox, who stunk up the place at G-Day.  Matthew Stafford appears to be the most promising of the bunch, but he has no real game experience yet.

Then there is the offensive line.  The starting five are probably okay, but if any of them decides to do something crazy, like take a rest during a game, we’re in big trouble.  And our secondary is reeling from the loss of three All-SEC starters.  And in the offseason, Georgia has more than lived up to its billing as Thuga Muga U.  Well, it should be quite an interesting season.

WESTERN KENTUCKY:  We were supposed to play Central Florida this year, but they finked out on us and this is all we could find to take their place.

PREDICTION:  Georgia 34, Western Kentucky 14.

SOUTH CAROLINA:  It’s Year 2 of the Steve Spurrier Reclamation Project and South Carolina fans are giddy with excitement.  The Dead Cockroach is always a difficult place to play, but it is especially going to be wild that night.

This game was lost back in the spring when offensive lineman Daniel Inman was suspended for the first two games of the season.  South Carolina’s defense is a wild, gambling, blitzing defense with lots of shifts, stunts, and crazy looks.  This was true back in the Lou Holtz era, and continues to be true under Steve Spurrier.  It can be very confusing and intimidating to play for 60 minutes against that type of defense, but especially for offensive linemen who do not have experience against it, and especially with over 80,000 super-crunk South Carolina fans roaring against you with all their might.

Daniel Inman is our most experienced and vocal leader on offensive line, and his absence will definitely be felt that night.  Because after him, there is only one other offensive lineman with even the remotest semblance of experience against South Carolina’s defense.  So expect a very long night for Georgia trying to move the ball on South Carolina’s defense.

Of course, South Carolina has offensive line issues of their own, and that should keep this game from getting too far out of hand.  But still, it will be very tough going for Georgia at the Dead Cockroach.

PREDICTION:  South Carolina 10, Georgia 0.  Joe Tereshinski gets yanked as the starter, and in comes Matthew Stafford.

UAB:  The last time Georgia played UAB, they struggled mightily against an unexpectedly tough running team and only narrowly averted a major homecoming embarrassment.  Will Georgia avert embarrassment again this time?  Yes, but again, it will be a struggle.

PREDICTION:  Georgia 16, UAB 13.

COLORADO:  I wonder if James Ryle is still out there predicting Colorado football scores with his buffalo horn.  James Ryle’s buffalo horn versus my bulldog tooth.  This ought to be interesting.

Apparently Dan Hawkins didn’t get enough punishment when he came down here last year with Boise State, so he jumped ship to Colorado and now is coming back for more.

PREDICTION:  Georgia 42, Colorado 24.

OLE MISS:  This is a hoot.  Brent Schaeffer, the Tennessee transfer who was expected to be the starting quarterback this year, has gone AWOL.  The latest reports indicate that he is down at some junior college somewhere out west, trying to qualify academically.

Doesn’t look like he’ll be making it back for the start of the season.  And if he doesn’t, Ole Miss has no backup plan.  Wouldn’t want to be an Ole Miss fan this year.

PREDICTION:  Georgia 31, Ole Miss 21.

TENNESSEE:  David Cutcliffe is back in the saddle with Philip Fulmer this year.  But will that be enough to answer the many questions that surround this team, especially on offensive line, coming off a most disappointing 5-6 season last year?  But then, Georgia has offensive line–and secondary–questions of their own.

PREDICTION:  Tennessee 21, Georgia 19.

VANDERBILT:  Last year Vanderbilt went 5-6 with Jay Cutler.  Now what will they do without him?

PREDICTION:  Georgia 38, Vanderbilt 14.

MISSISSIPPI STATE:  Man, please.

PREDICTION:  Georgia 41, Mississippi State 14.

FLORIDA:  Ah, Florida.  Time to break out the old jean shorts, mullet wigs, and flip-flops, and head down to Jacksonville for the World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail [by order of Michael Adams]Party!!!

Well, we’ve all had our share of laughs at the expense of the spread offense which Urban Meyer is so beholden to.  No one gave it a chance of doing anything against the speed of SEC defenses.  That was until Georgia defensive coordinator singlehandedly made West Virginia coach Rich Rodriguez the toast of the country with his unit’s effort that night.  Now Rich Rodriguez travels all around the country giving–and selling out–clinics on how to beat Georgia.

You see, the spread offense works–if you have the right quarterback.  Pat White made that perfectly clear to Georgia.  And Urban Meyer now has the right quarterback:  Tim Tebow.

But even if Urban Meyer didn’t have the right quarterback for his offense, Florida would still beat Georgia.  Florida would beat Georgia even if Georgia had a Super Bowl MVP starting at every position!!!

PREDICTION:  Florida 24, Georgia 15.

KENTUCKY:  Well after all these years, Kentucky says they’re finally starting to get some depth.  We’ll have to see about that.

PREDICTION:  Georgia 34, Kentucky 20.

AUBURN:  Boy oh boy, is Auburn loaded this year!!!  Many analysts have picked Auburn to win the SEC West, if not the whole SEC championship outright.  And with Will Muschamp coming in to head up the defense this year, what’s not to like?  Plus, Tommy Tuberville owns Georgia with a 7-4 overall career record against Georgia.

Oh well.  At least we don’t have to worry about Devin Aromashodu getting loose on 4th and forever, now that he has used up his 27 years of eligibility.

Still, the visiting team holds the advantage in this series.  And the game is at Auburn this year.  Plus, there must be friendly ghosts in the south end zone of Jordan-Hare.  Four of the last five games that Georgia has won or tied at Jordan-Hare were decided by a play in or near the south end zone during the final two minutes of the game.  So if the game is close at the end and whoever has the ball is moving toward the south end zone, Georgia may have a chance.

PREDICTION:  Georgia 16, Auburn 14.

GEORGIA TECH:  Everyone at Georgia Tech is excited about the arrival of Patrick Nix as offensive coordinator.  So will that be enough to lift them above the level of simply winning more games than they lose?  Maybe.

In 2003 Reggie Ball got knocked out of the game during the first half.  In 2004 he infamously threw the ball away on 4th down.  In 2005 he threw a huge interception that set up Georgia’s winning touchdown.  So will this finally be his year?

Chan Gailey has a penchant for losing to teams that he is supposed to beat, but he also has a knack for beating teams he is not supposed to beat.  I bet this is Georgia’s year to learn what it feels like to lose to Chan Gailey.

PREDICTION:  Georgia Tech 20, Georgia 16.

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