In the French language, there is no such thing as the neuter gender. Every object noun is either masculine (in which case it is preceded by the definite article le or the indefinite article un) or feminine (in which case it is preceded by the definite article la or the indefinite article une).
What if the English language were like that? Which nouns would be masculine and which would be feminine? Here are some of my suggestions:
TIRE: Masculine. They are bald and overinflated.
COPY MACHINE: Feminine. If you push the right buttons they perform beautifully, but if you push the wrong buttons they can cause all sorts of trouble.
SHOE: Masculine. It is old and smelly, and it goes around in public with its tongue hanging out.
FIRE ALARM: Feminine. Set it off, and it shrieks very loudly. Everyone must leave the building, and you get into all sorts of trouble.
SWISS ARMY KNIFE: Masculine. It is useful for a million different things, but it spends most of its time opening beer bottles.
REMOTE CONTROL: Feminine. Men can’t get along without it. They never know the right buttons to push, but that doesn’t stop them from trying.
HAMMER: Masculine. It hasn’t evolved much over the last 5,000 years, but it is still very essential to have around.
