(originally written in December 2004)
On Christmas Day Nick Saban announced that he would be stepping down as head coach of LSU in order to accept a lucrative offer from the Miami Dolphins. In the days since then speculation has swirled as to who would be his successor. All the usual suspects–and even a few oddball choices–have emerged as possible candidates for the position. These have included Tommy Tuberville, Bobby Petrino, and Houston Nutt, among others.
Everyone seems to have an opinion on who LSU should pick to be their next head coach, and to have good reasons to back up their opinions. LSU officials are keeping mum on the whole thing, which only adds to the mystery and confusion. So rather than add my opinion on who the next LSU coach should be to the already intense swirl of speculation, I think it would be more profitable to discuss who will probably NOT be the next LSU head coach.
First of all, I think we can safely rule out Roy Orbison. Why? (1) He’s a pop singer, not a football coach. (2) HE’S DEAD!!!
Here are the others who will probably not be getting the call from Skip Bertman to come and fill the head coaching position at LSU.
(10) Jimmy Swaggart
(9) Curley Hallman
(8) Ryan Seacrest (He’s already busy hosting American Idol and American Top 40. He thinks he can do everything, but I think this would be a little too much for him.)
(7) Avril Lavigne
(6) Hillary Clinton
(5) Hilary Duff
(4) Jimmy Hoffa
(3) Adam Sandler
(2) James Carville
(1) Snoop Dogg (Hey, he lives in Baton Rouge!)
